I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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