He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
