I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
