Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
