heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
