so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
