it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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