Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
