I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
