just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
