just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
