garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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