omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
