found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize