just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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