I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
