i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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