There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
