i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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