Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
