yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
