so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize