hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
