Where are you?
In a non slutty way
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I had to cum in my sink.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
