well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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