Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
And then he peed in my hair
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
