he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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