even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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