I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
