Where did you get a picture of my penis
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
