I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
