why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
