i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
