ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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