that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Randomize