Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
