what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
