I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
