party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
