fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
