hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
