It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
