No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
