"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
