I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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