So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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