Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
