Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
