u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
