So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
