Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
as a side note pls kill me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
