based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
