I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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