I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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