He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
