there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
