Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
