Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize