I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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