super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
