things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
