Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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