he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You should frame my arrest warrant.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
